wandering dreamer..

ikaw.

2007-01-21T07:54:00.000+08:00

Unti-unti na tayong naglalayo

Madami na talaga ang nagbabago

Hindi naman kita pwedeng angkinin e

at sabi mo nga

We'll adjust na lang

Siguro namimiss lang kita

Ayokong dumating ang panahon na

Magkakilala na lang tayo

sino ka?!

2007-01-19T07:49:00.000+08:00

nakakainggit ang mga taong alam nila ang gusto nila sa buhay..

pano kaya nila nagagawa un?!....

nag-away kme nung nanay ko nung bday ko

umiyak ako, sabi ko sana pinabukas na lang, para naman di nasira ang araw ko.

1st time ko tumambay sa park, di ako nagtagal.. nagyosi lang

kinabukasan, ok na ko, di ko na bday e

tapos, kinwento ko ung nangyare saken

sabi niya, ok lang madami ka naman kaibigan

napaisip ako.

madami nga ba kong kaibigan

o madami lang akong kakilala

hmm..

kung marami akong kaibigan

bakit pakiramdam ko mag-isa lang ako non

ang lungkot

sana di na nauso ang bday

"i want you however you want to be wanted"

2006-10-11T16:39:00.000+08:00

You First Believed by Hoku

How many times did I pray you'd find me
How many wishes on a star
Gazing off into the dark
Dreaming I'd see your face
Safe at home unafraid
Captured in your embrace
So many times
When my heart was broken
Visions of you
Would keep me strong
You were with me all along
Guiding my every step
You are all that I am
And I'll never forget

It was you who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you looking in my eyes
You held my hand
And showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed
There were times
When I'd thought I'd lost you

Fearing forever was a dream
But it wasn't what it seemed
Placing your hand in mine
You could see in the dark
You were guiding my heart

How many times did I pray
You'd find me
How many wishes on a star

How many realizations does it take for someone to admit that he/she is already in love?

After my last relationship, that was ages ago..hehe, I got scared of falling in love. Well such phrase isn't new, I think most people after ending a relationship feels and says that, well not exactly falling in love, but rather entering a new relationship. Scared of being hurt that can be caused by either rejection or unmet expectations.

Can a person really have power over what he/she feels?
Seriously I don't think a person can just shrug off the feeling of being love, I just can't tell my heart or mind not fall in love so that I won't get hurt, or is it possible? As I always say and believe, love is a very strong and powerful emotion, it has total effect on an individuals’ life, or is it only the painful moments that really affects a person? I mean, when a person is in love and he/she and his/her partner are happy does it really show? Do they really become inspired and do well in what they're doing? For I can say that when a person gets hurt, man, everything goes down. Or is it just me? haha. I will not be a hypocrite to say that I’ve felt that that my world moved around the person I loved, and when we’re not okay, everythings not okay, I just can't stop thinking about it. And when I was in love, I think for a time I know we were, or I was doing good, I was happy and in love, but not all the time, its like getting into a trance like something that you get to forget other people that mattered before or you don’t get it when they say that its becoming too much or soething, as long as you are with the person you love. Isn’t that a bad thing too, brought by being in love and you’re both happy? Friends would advice not to give everything, not too fall too hard, but that's the hard part of it, not to let you fall hard..

Actually, they are two different cases, when one is in love and when one is in a relationship, for in a relationship there are existing expectations unlike when you’re just in love, it’s not like you can still demand or something for its not always a mutual thing, it does not always end the way we want it too.

Friends are the ideal lovers, I do believe in this, but I also think its the most painful of all other relationships, falling for a friend and not being able to admit it is the hardest of all, fear of being rejected that can lead to losing the friendship, and if it does work out and comes to an end, what happens next? Do you remain friends? What if it’s a bad break-up? So it’s still losing the friendship eh? Am I saying that the better thing to do is keep it to you? I don’t know.. Or better yet just don’t fall for a friend..haha. Is that even possible?!

It’s easy to say things or give pieces of advice when it’s not you who’s experiencing it. True. Even if you had already experienced such, its still a different case, it’s always a different case.

Am I still afraid of falling in love?
Guess what, I never was, for I am in love, for the longest time, it just took me a zillion years to admit it.

adik b?!

2006-10-09T21:06:00.000+08:00

officemates!

rainer, mac, niko, me, glenda, rye, tracy.

wala ung iba. hehe.

astig. 1st weekend OT, tangna 12 hrs ako nyan., sinong adik?! hmm...

Welcome to the labor force

2006-10-06T18:14:00.000+08:00

I've been employed for almost a week now and apparently I've started ranting already..hehe (the spoiled brat I am). Given our first project that is to work on company database. It seemed easy at first but along the way damn, facing the computer for 8 hrs and more, looking for those damn companies..fuck..It drains all the energy in your system..(yes that was an exaggeration) hehe. I'm constantly experiencing backpains and headaches which gives me reason to go down and smoke..hehe..Thank God I have smoking buddies here. Colleagues? In general they are all fun to be with..(masabi lang..) ching.

"di ako pwede ngaun e, may work ako bukas!"

haha. It really makes me smile and does gives me a funny feeling when I say or text those words, its not so me..Really not me. "isang kalabit mo lang.." I'm the person who's always on the go, just text me what, when, where etc for sure I'll be there, even just to see and hang-out with my friends, much more when there are beers involved! This was new to me, and it does feel funny.

I should be working right now, but here I am, updating my blog, waiting for the clock to strike 7 so that I could leave.

OT- happy thought. Never thought I'd be happy with OT's, aside from the extra pay...=p haha.

Not to give a wrong impression here, I'm happy with what I'm doing right now; I'm happy cause I'm working and I should be expecting this kind of stress, I just hate the backpains and headaches; I'm happy cause I'm working with wonderful people; I'm happy cause I'll be earning my own moolah; and I'm happy because....hmm...Just because=p

I miss my friends, friends that I don't see every week, friends that I've spent hours with back then, mostly the yosi and inuman sessions.

welcome king.

simple thoughts

2006-10-03T11:33:00.000+08:00

For four freakin' months i've been ranting about not being employed, wherein once in a while led me into feeling unworthy..(ye, angOA diba). Some says that its an exaggeration when you feel depressed due to unemployment, some says that its okay to feel that way, its like a phase or something that most fresh graduates experience. The feeling of unworthy arises when people starts asking about your what your doing or basically if you have a job and what, where is it, for they are EXPECTING you to have one after you graduate or is it SUPPOSE TO have after you graduate?!

On Call Centers
Honestly, I did apply to some, but after going through the process of application, taking several exams and interviews, I just didn't want it. Yes, it pays well, most really offers attractive salaries, but why don't I see myself in it?! Is it because of my principles and pride?! or "I just don't see myself" remark is enough to explain what I feel?! Until now, thats the best answer I can give. I always tell people that I am not in the position to assess the industry for I haven't been in one.(Standard answer) Maybe soon..we never know.

Practicality. Money does make the world go around, true. Before I thought it was love...love is all that matters..hehe. When I ask people on what would make them involved in one, the top answer would be practicality, it pays well and requires a minimum level of thinking..haha!!! and the next one would be how hard it is to look for a better job and this is the only industry that do massive recruitment blah..blah..blah.. Amazingly, if I was in one, this would be my answers too.. haha! It doesn't matter from what school your from, your economic status, what you look like etc. As long as you know how to speak the language, where we all know for a fact that these are things that can be learned and improved. You are all doing the same thing (alienation ba ito?!) and is being paid at the same rate.

Do I think call centers will last in our country?
Yes, because it does cater to the issue of unemployment in the country. Another is, until labor in the Philippines is cheap. And lastly, until the government would not be able to come up with other and better opportunities. It will stay.

Just my thoughts.
FYI: I'm now a Research associate. naks. where the hell did that come from?! hmm..